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Spring 2014 Publication
Interview style magazine article translated.
1. Could you tell us how you spiritually awakened, including awakening of your sixth sense?
A series of happenings, over many years have shown that awakening was a process more than an event. I can tell you about the significant moments along that path which brought shifts in perception.
The background which assisted most in awakening was from the age of 19 years, i went to see therapists, mostly psychotherapists to unravel and heal old wounds from my childhood. This therapy continued for 8 years. It was intense and gave me many skills to be able to see and manage thoughts and emotions. At the age of 30, one day I was suddenly able to see the bodies of people who had died. It was frightening and invasive. They would visit during the night and during my working day, always looking for help and for healing. One year later I began to see chakras, past lives and unresolved karma. I changed my work and felt that whatever was unfolding in my life deserved my full attention if I was to ever understand these events and the world we live in. I worked as a healer, moving energy and repairing chakras.
After 5 years it was clear that I had to surrender my life to the spiritual path. I stayed alone in a tent in Spain for 3 months not knowing here to go or how to do this next phase. After much silence and meditation I knew that I had to leave my life with no ties remaining behind me. My search brought me to India.
In India there were many experiences and days when desire would torture my mind but I kept going inward responding to a pull to somehow go beyond all stories of the mind.
After 4 years in India it became very clear that there was no personal 'i', that mind had created the story of Jac and believed it into existence. This was seen in glimpses many time before, but it never lasted more than a few days at a time. In India the ability to switch on the Jac story was dissolved. There remained no trace of ownership of the body or of the mind. Thoughts were all equal unless my attention gave them power to manifest as real. Attention was resting within and there was, and still is, unending inner peace.
2. When you were in Ireland, you developed holistic programmes that focused on viewing depression as a spiritual awakening rather than a bio-chemical disorder. Could you explain why depression is a spiritual awakening?
When i worked as an energy healer many people with depression came to see me and every one had similar issues in their chakra system. They believed that the world was not a safe place for them, there was an inability to express anger and all anger was focused inward. They were angry with themselves, blaming themselves, feeling guilty and full of shame. Their sense of how they were managing in the world always came from others. The threat of being accepted or rejected was constant, there was no solid sense of self.
When i worked with these issues it was clear that the ego was 100% active, fully engaging every thought. Every thought was about me. For example, thoughts such as am i OK, what will i say, do these people like me etc. are constant for people with depression. Seeing thoughts as just thoughts brings the first feeling of relief and depression begins to subside. Repairing the ego, bringing it to fullness is how we mature on the spiritual path. Self-love and self-acceptance are always absent in the person who has depression. The 'personal i' story will be fully active unless self-love and self-acceptance is established. Spiritual work will never be complete unless the ego becomes whole and complete. This is a maturation of the ego and when it is mature it des not seek our attention and can be laid to rest.
3. Could you explain what you are teaching now?
My work has 2 strands. First is to identify where someone is stuck on their path because of an attachment to a belief or experience. Holding onto any story in life will keep the movie appearing as real. The second strand is to redirect perception, (showing where to place attention) so that the labeling and thus manifestation of an objective world ceases.
What we are looking for is where we are looking from. The world in front of us is not real, our thoughts make it appear real. We are looking from the Self. Attention leaves the Self and goes out into the world. Pull your attention within and let it rest there. Now place your attention prior to that. This last pointer doesn't really make sense and mind cannot do this step practically and this is the key. Mind cannot go beyond itself and it does not have the capacity to rest in Reality. We point mind to the edge of a cliff and with a willingness to go prior to all stories, we have a capacity to resonate with That which is outside of duality, prior to all that manifests.
4. Could you tell us why it is difficult for us to abide now and here?
This is the journey of life. We are distracted by what life has to offer. We love ideas, stories and fantasy. We are attracted to suffering as it makes us experience things deeply. When we are not attracted to the external world it is easier to let attention be in the present moment.
It's best not to judge the busy mind but when you have that moment of seeing your thoughts, be thankful for it and do your best to see our thoughts from a distance, without comment. You will not know the moment that you are believing your thoughts again, you will only become aware in the moment you recognise that you can see your thoughts again. As often as you can, do pull back from your thoughts and see that they are no more than concepts floating by. They (thoughts) are like clouds floating across the sky unless you want to give them meaning.
It is the frequency that you bring your attention into the present moment that is most important. It is not important how long you stay present. The frequency with which you disconnect from being in the story of your thoughts is the key here.
5. Could you explain natural state and Self?
The Self is that which is not physically here, it is what you really are and it is outside of this movie. The Self really has no name. When we give it (Self) this name (we need a name to communicate) be careful not to make it an object. Self is not something, or someone. It is not an energy or the source. Self is beyond all concepts. Self is what you are and from Self all arises and returns and Self knows nothing about this manifestation. Self cannot know about something because for Self there is no duality, there is nothing to be known.
The natural state is what happens in the body-mind when attention is drawn back into the Self. There is no investment in your thoughts and Self is known to be what you are. What is natural then unfolds. We call it the natural state but really it is not a state like a state of mind as it does not come and go. The natural state is when there is peace and stillness beneath whatever is happening in life and this peace and stillness never leaves or changes. The natural state directs what is is happening because in the natural state you are not interested in manipulating or judging what is happening. What happens organically arises from the natural state. It is being fully human to know that you are the Self and once the natural state is established and interest in the phenomenal world ceases, what you really are can live the life that you once thought was personally yours.